Cognitive:Students will understand how important it is to forgive.
Affective:Students will feel more forgiveness in their hearts toward others.
Behavioral:Students will forgive offenses more quickly and will act to restore conflicted relationships.
Class Session 1:
Explain that conflict is common, so the need to forgive comes up frequently in daily life. Explain that students may automatically forgive their friends and family members when they do wrong because they love them. If the hurt is deep, though, it is hard even to forgive family and friends.
Still, make the point that forgiveness is the only way to peace—both peace with the other person and the students' own inner peace.
Forgiveness and peace can't be separated. You can't have one without the other.
Ask students how they would like to live in a situation like the one described in "Vendettas: where there is no forgiveness." How could such a situation be resolved? Ask them for their suggestions. Do students think before there could be forgiveness, perhaps a truce could be called between the two families where they at least agree not to kill any more people? Could one family offer to make up for the bad things they have done to the other—like pay money, give gifts, buy masses for the souls of the dead and hope that the other family agrees to do similar things to make up?
How about the story about the boy and his best friend Bill? What do students think can be done to bring forgiveness into that friendship?
Sometimes someone has to do something to help the other person forgive. A husband who upset his wife might bring home flowers or candy or a gift to soften her heart toward him. Have they ever done something to help someone forgive them? Or has someone ever done something to help them forgive him or her? Ask students to give examples from their own lives.
A mental exercise: Ask students to close their eyes and think of one of their "enemies"—someone they are holding something against in their hearts and not forgiving. Ask them to name on one hand, using their fingers to count, five good things about the person. Even external things, like the person has nice hair, are fine. Explain that they will feel a grudging feeling, but that they should go ahead anyway. Now, do they feel a little more forgiving toward the person than they did when they first thought about him or her?
Forgiveness is a state of mind!
Explain that in the Exercise "Linda", Linda has found out something about her friend Natalie that has softened her thoughts and feelings toward Natalie. She is changing her mind about Natalie.
Have students do the Exercise: "Linda" in their student books.
Exercise: “Linda”
Linda felt awful. All year Natalie had said mean things to her and treated her badly. Linda had no idea what she had done to cause such anger and frustration in Natalie. In fact, they used to be friends. One afternoon Linda was walking through the hall at school after everyone had gone home, when she overheard two of Natalie's teachers talking.
"I just found out that Natalie's parents got divorced last year," said one.
"Yes,” the other responded. “She told me recently that she has to go home immediately after school every day to take care of her younger sister. She cooks for her, too, and barely has time to finish her school work because her mother works late hours and her father has moved out.” - How do you think Natalie felt about herself? - Do you think that people who feel badly about themselves may tend to treat others badly also? Why? After hearing about Natalie’s situation, do you think Linda will see Natalie differently? How do you think she will treat Natalie differently?Classroom session 2:Review: forgiveness is a state of mind. It involves how we think about other people. The way we think about people can change the way we feel about them. That is why Dr. King's advice on how to think about our "enemy-neighbor" is so important. Have students review Dr. King's words in their student texts. Do they agree that "an element of goodness may be found even in our worst enemy…there is some good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of us"? Are some people completely evil and never to be forgiven? Yet someone loved these people too. Everyone had a mother who had some feelings toward him or her. Many evil people in history had spouses and children. Some people saw some good in them. Some people loved them. Sometimes the life story of an evil person can cause us to have compassion for him or her when we understand how much they suffered and why they became the way they were. That doesn't mean we excuse their actions. It means that we can forgive them in our hearts. Have students do the Reflection Exercise: "Forgiveness" in their student books, keeping in mind that every person has some good in them and that what the person did to hurt them is not the total picture of the person. Reflection Exercise: “Forgiveness”
Remember a situation when you felt offended. What were the unpleasant feelings connected with the offense and the person who hurt you? Do you think your offender understood your feelings? Now try to imagine that you are the offender and describe the same situation from his/her point of view. What is the difference between the stories? What do you think caused that person to behave the way he/she did? Did he/she offend you on purpose, or was it accidental? Have your feelings toward your offender changed at all? Can you forgive him/her? Now ask students to close their eyes. If possible, play very soft, soothing, sweet music to them. Lower the lights. Have them take twenty deep breaths. Now ask them to imagine a world of peace, freedom, happiness, safety, prosperity, and beauty. There are no worries in this world; none at all. They are completely safe, well cared for, and need fear nothing. In this world there is no hurt, no pain. There is only love and care between people. Have them imagine this world for at least five to ten minutes. Now have them imagine a person they are having conflicts with in their lives. Can they project that merciful, kind, safe world on that person? Do they feel compassion for that person welling up in their hearts? Note that compassion is stronger than anger. Have students do the Questions for Reflection in their student books:
Questions for Reflection
1. Why do you think conflicts between people arise in the first place?
_
2. Is it easy to tell who is at fault? How do we do this?
_
3. What is the way to resolve conflicts?
_
4. Give some examples of conflicts that have and have not been resolved.
_
5. Why have some conflicts been resolved and others not?
_
6. Is it difficult to really forgive someone? Give an example.
_
7. Have you ever been forgiven for a wrongful act? How did it feel?
_
8. How is loving your enemy related to forgiveness?
_
9. Is there a conflict in your life you would like to resolve? How could you do it?
_
Cognitive: Students will understand how important it is to forgive.
Affective: Students will feel more forgiveness in their hearts toward others.
Behavioral: Students will forgive offenses more quickly and will act to restore conflicted relationships.
Class Session 1:
Explain that conflict is common, so the need to forgive comes up frequently in daily life. Explain that students may automatically forgive their friends and family members when they do wrong because they love them. If the hurt is deep, though, it is hard even to forgive family and friends.
Still, make the point that forgiveness is the only way to peace—both peace with the other person and the students' own inner peace.
Forgiveness and peace can't be separated. You can't have one without the other.
Ask students how they would like to live in a situation like the one described in "Vendettas: where there is no forgiveness." How could such a situation be resolved? Ask them for their suggestions. Do students think before there could be forgiveness, perhaps a truce could be called between the two families where they at least agree not to kill any more people? Could one family offer to make up for the bad things they have done to the other—like pay money, give gifts, buy masses for the souls of the dead and hope that the other family agrees to do similar things to make up?
How about the story about the boy and his best friend Bill? What do students think can be done to bring forgiveness into that friendship?
Sometimes someone has to do something to help the other person forgive. A husband who upset his wife might bring home flowers or candy or a gift to soften her heart toward him. Have they ever done something to help someone forgive them? Or has someone ever done something to help them forgive him or her? Ask students to give examples from their own lives.
A mental exercise: Ask students to close their eyes and think of one of their "enemies"—someone they are holding something against in their hearts and not forgiving. Ask them to name on one hand, using their fingers to count, five good things about the person. Even external things, like the person has nice hair, are fine. Explain that they will feel a grudging feeling, but that they should go ahead anyway. Now, do they feel a little more forgiving toward the person than they did when they first thought about him or her?
Forgiveness is a state of mind!
Explain that in the Exercise "Linda", Linda has found out something about her friend Natalie that has softened her thoughts and feelings toward Natalie. She is changing her mind about Natalie.
Have students do the Exercise: "Linda" in their student books.
Exercise: “Linda”
Linda felt awful. All year Natalie had said mean things to her and treated her badly. Linda had no idea what she had done to cause such anger and frustration in Natalie. In fact, they used to be friends. One afternoon Linda was walking through the hall at school after everyone had gone home, when she overheard two of Natalie's teachers talking.
"I just found out that Natalie's parents got divorced last year," said one.
"Yes,” the other responded. “She told me recently that she has to go home immediately after school every day to take care of her younger sister. She cooks for her, too, and barely has time to finish her school work because her mother works late hours and her father has moved out.”
- How do you think Natalie felt about herself? - Do you think that people who feel badly about themselves may tend to treat others badly also? Why? After hearing about Natalie’s situation, do you think Linda will see Natalie differently? How do you think she will treat Natalie differently? Classroom session 2: Review: forgiveness is a state of mind. It involves how we think about other people. The way we think about people can change the way we feel about them. That is why Dr. King's advice on how to think about our "enemy-neighbor" is so important. Have students review Dr. King's words in their student texts. Do they agree that "an element of goodness may be found even in our worst enemy…there is some good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of us"? Are some people completely evil and never to be forgiven? Yet someone loved these people too. Everyone had a mother who had some feelings toward him or her. Many evil people in history had spouses and children. Some people saw some good in them. Some people loved them. Sometimes the life story of an evil person can cause us to have compassion for him or her when we understand how much they suffered and why they became the way they were. That doesn't mean we excuse their actions. It means that we can forgive them in our hearts. Have students do the Reflection Exercise: "Forgiveness" in their student books, keeping in mind that every person has some good in them and that what the person did to hurt them is not the total picture of the person.
Reflection Exercise: “Forgiveness”
Remember a situation when you felt offended. What were the unpleasant feelings connected with the offense and the person who hurt you? Do you think your offender understood your feelings? Now try to imagine that you are the offender and describe the same situation from his/her point of view. What is the difference between the stories? What do you think caused that person to behave the way he/she did? Did he/she offend you on purpose, or was it accidental? Have your feelings toward your offender changed at all? Can you forgive him/her?
Now ask students to close their eyes. If possible, play very soft, soothing, sweet music to them. Lower the lights. Have them take twenty deep breaths. Now ask them to imagine a world of peace, freedom, happiness, safety, prosperity, and beauty. There are no worries in this world; none at all. They are completely safe, well cared for, and need fear nothing. In this world there is no hurt, no pain. There is only love and care between people. Have them imagine this world for at least five to ten minutes. Now have them imagine a person they are having conflicts with in their lives. Can they project that merciful, kind, safe world on that person? Do they feel compassion for that person welling up in their hearts? Note that compassion is stronger than anger. Have students do the Questions for Reflection in their student books:
Questions for Reflection
1. Why do you think conflicts between people arise in the first place?
_
2. Is it easy to tell who is at fault? How do we do this?
_
3. What is the way to resolve conflicts?
_
4. Give some examples of conflicts that have and have not been resolved.
_
5. Why have some conflicts been resolved and others not?
_
6. Is it difficult to really forgive someone? Give an example.
_
7. Have you ever been forgiven for a wrongful act? How did it feel?
_
8. How is loving your enemy related to forgiveness?
_
9. Is there a conflict in your life you would like to resolve? How could you do it?
_